chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Escape from Limboland

Ok. So. Everything is going pretty well now. Or at least I have started all the balls rolling in the right direction. I'm guessing I have about two weeks now, which is not long enough to turn myself into someone perfect, but is long enough to be somewhat improved. I have done some pretty neat things to the apartment since Luis has been gone and become a pseudo vegetarian. I worked out for about two weeks and then gave it up, but tomorrow I plan to start up again. I'm getting to the age where I really have to work out if I want to look decent. And I do.

The best thing I've done so far, though, is to quit smoking (pretty much). I had one cigarette today, but if I'm not drinking, I can usually go without. So. That also explains partly why I haven't been able to lose all the weight I gained. It seems that my weight has been leaping up by sevens all year long. I'm pretty sure I'm changing all that now. But for some reason when I'm quitting smoking, the weight just seems to hang on even when I'm doing the right things. I'm not too worried, though.

I figure I can probably make it into the 60's by Oct. and that's good enough for now.

John's birthday is tomorrow. I sent him some clothes, well shirts. I think he'll definately wear two of them, so that's a decent present. I wanted to get him a pool stick, but I loaned Phillip two hundred and that pretty much ate up my birthday fund. So he'll have to wait until Christmas for that.

I'm supposed to be paying off the debt I owe my mom from the horrible days of H and homelessness, but I haven't started yet. I have one more present to buy for Luis before he comes home and then we're practically into the holidays and I just don't see how I can pay her until January. But I should definately make the effort.

It's so wierd when everything is going fine. It almost feels like something is wrong. I hate to think that way, but I can't help it. Sometimes it seems like you need bad things to happen so you can really appreciate the good things. I guess being alone all this time has made me strange. I know I will be very excited to have my man back. It feels kind of pathetic not to have on and not be looking. Even though I do have one, I've still found myself feeling that way. But I don't really have to worry about all that anymore, not that I really ever did.

It's odd that I'm becoming one of the happiest people I know. I never really saw that coming.

9:50 p.m. - 2004-09-15
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