chalice26's Diaryland Diary


The ex-virgin

Everything was going as planned. They had the beer, their mom was out for the night, and a few friends were coming over. They were having their first house party. She was going to have more than just the one beer this time. Everyone was safe, so she could let go and have fun. Her boyfriend, her brother, and her friends were all in a festive mood. She was happy.
Her boyfriend left to smoke and came back with some adults with a bottle of something--Crown Royal maybe. Now she was afraid. She no longer had any control over this party, her house, and her buzz was even making her control over herself slip. Her boyfriend gave her a drink. She'd never had hard alcohol before, and didn't want to drink it, but she couldn't say no to him, so before she knew it, she was feeling dizzy, tired, and sick. She wanted to go to bed, but she was afraid to leave strangers loose in her house. She was scared and more drunk than she'd ever been before, so she didn't know for sure what was happening to her or what to do about it.
Her boyfriend ushered her into her room. She was so happy that someone wanted give up their fun night to take care of her for a change. She felt so special. All her life she'd played a supporting role in everyone else's life. She'd begun to believe that God put her on the Earth to watch out for, and take care of, other people. When she had finished puking, she tried to lie down and her boyfriend said she needed to get out of her clothes. He helped her get undressed and, because she was shy and no one had ever seen her naked (including him), she reached out to him for cover. She had told him the first night, when they held hands and talked that she wouldn't have sex with him, but she didn't mind if he got it elsewhere--she still wanted him as a boyfriend. She told him she never wanted to have sex with anybody. He told her that was okay with him.
He surprised her by pushing her back instead of hugging her, and then crawling on top of her. She was so drunk that she'd never noticed he was naked. She felt him penetrate, felt the pain, and mercifully blacked out. The next time she was aware, she was biting her lip so she wouldn't scream from the pain, because she didn't want anybody to know what was happening. She would've been so ashamed if her brother had seen her. After a few more thrusts, she blacked out again, this time for good. She passed out and woke up a few hours later. She didn't remember too much of what happened, but the only thing she was wearing was her bra, which was all twisted up, and when she went to the bathroom, she was peeing blood. She found that her bed sheets were covered in it. Everyone was gone or asleep and she couldn't find her boyfriend anywhere. She took a long shower, watching all the blood go down the drain, trying to figure out why she was alone and why her boyfriend left her. She washed her sheets and remade her bed and it hurt so bad to walk, but it hurt more to sit, so she cleaned up the mess left from the party and hid the beer boxes in her closet.
She was sitting on the couch when her boyfriend came in. When she asked where he'd been, he said he'd gone to get high, and he wouldn't look at her. He didn't talk to her, so she asked him what happened, and he was mad because she couldn't remember. She asked him to come to bed and he said he wanted to sleep on the couch. She begged him, because she didn't want her mom to catch him there and promised the bed was clean, so he went to sleep in her bed. She couldn't sleep anymore, and when her brother finally woke up, she asked him what happened. He told her that he'd checked on her and she was sitting up in bed smiling and seemed okay. She was surprised to hear that, since it must have been after her boyfriend left and she was naked but for that twisted bra, but she figured that everything must be okay since everyone else thought it was.
Her boyfriend left later that day and she didn't see him again for a few months.
He asked if they could go to her room and talk and all he said was, "You told me to go get some nooky, so I did."

12:31 p.m. - 2009-07-05

Same Old Thing - 2011-08-28
The ex-virgin - 2009-07-05
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Diet Notes - 2009-03-10
Naughty Tree - 2009-02-27


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