chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Comings and goings

It's so wierd. I haven't written anything in here in forever. Since I last wrote, though, many things have happened. Let's see, uh oh, we went to a Halloween party at Julie's and I was a white trash pregnant bride. It was really funny, because I got ready there so that Luis wouldn't know what I was going as. He was Rob Zombie--yes, I know, what a perfect couple we are!

About a week after that, Luis went back to the war and was gone til the beginning of December. We spent a week and a half together and then he went off to Cali to visit his family on leave. So I spent my birthday with Julie and sang Karaoke and drank on her all night. It was pretty cool.

For Christmas I went to Lisa's and hung out with her family. That was pretty cool except for the fact that I thought her husband might have a little crush on me. But things have been ok since, so I'm chalking that up to alcohol and lecavig it there.

Luis got back on the 31st and we went to another party at Julie's. We had Champagne and Spumante and played a little Cranium--which is fun as long as you don't play with stoners!

And a week and a half after that I went down to S.D. to take a cruise to Ensanada with my family and finally met John's girlfriend Kelly. She's a whole lot like his last girlfriend except that she's a little nicer and has a little bit better personality. All in all, though, she's one of those girls who always seeks approval, isn't very smart, and needs to be taken care of. Ugh! The worst part is that she's older than me, and that makes her even harder to like. I mean, if she was eighteen, I could try to understand, but she's 28! What's her excuse???? Anyway, I'm going home tonight, and I must say I'm definately looking forward to it. I'm planning to just be totally chill, clean, watch t.v., hang out with Luis, and not have one minute of emotional outbursts for at least the next month and a half (that's when he's supposedly going back).

I think I'm just very out of practice when it comes to dealing with my family. And I guess what I have found is that they're very tightly wound, insecure, emotional, and easily offended. It's very hard for me to be myself here. And while I know that I must have once been more like them, I'm not at all now, and I feel such a yearning for the simple, quiet, easy happiness that I take for granted and have grown accustomed to in my own life. It makes me feel even luckier than I did, because I have found something that they still have yet to, in life.

I finally really do have a complete sense of who I am, what I want, and what I really value. I hope that they all find that soon...

1:07 p.m. - 2004-01-13
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