chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Prednisone or Suicide, tough choice

I am not in any way feeling better. For the past week I have done this: take shower, eat, watch t.v., read. Notice I did not say "sleep" and that is because I have not been doing that. In order to sleep I have to stack like ten pillows behind me so that I am in a fully elevated position, and lay across them kinda sideways, because even leaning back a centimeter makes me feel like I'm suffocating--which is because I am. Then I listen to myself breath, so it's sort of like trying to fall asleep at night with your alarm blaring, only worse, because of all the coughing and nose-blowing. This is all what I intended to spare myself yesterday. But hey. The problem is I am scheduled to work tomorrow and there is no way that's going to happen in my current condition, so I need to go back to the Dr. But I can't face the effort that it would take me to get there, because I wasn't even this sick when I went there before. I went because I could see this coming. I need them to give me steroids and I have to go back to get them. I think I will literally go crazy and kill myself if I have to spend one more night like this. So it's extremely important that I get more medicine. So I will be calling all my friends begging them to take me and hopefully one of them is not working.

11:32 a.m. - 2003-02-10
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