chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Worrying, weighing in, etc.

I got an e-mail from John saying he's worried about Phillip. This is pretty scary considering, out of all the people in my family, his personality most closely relates to Cathy's (she being the one that shot herself in Sept.). So we all sort of don't like it when he doesn't seem to be doing so well. And besides, in the last few months John has seemingly washed his hands of Phillip and hardly ever even talks about him anymore. If you say, "Hey, how's Phillip?" He says, "I don't know. He's just drinking like always." But that's not too worrisome considering that's basically the theme of my family's lives. So I guess I won't worry til he tells me what the fuck this is all about.

I had a really nice talk with Paul last night and he surprised me this morning by coming over. And as I have stayed up all night waiting for him to get off work and come back, I guess I mean yesterday morning, but there's seemingly nothing going wrong, so I'm a lot more relaxed.

I'm adding something to the bottom of this, because it's the same day, and I'm thinking that my boyfriend's leaving me in a couple of days, and now I wish I wouldn't have spent so much of our last days together worrying. I know he loves me. He is a good person. My life would be less without him, so therefore I have nothing to lose by waiting...

6:48 a.m. - 2003-02-04
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