chalice26's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An Uncertain Future

I've mostly been writing lately in my paper diary, because I am pretty confident that most of the things I have to say are extremely private and personally overwhelming. Also there's the fact that I'm about to suffer through and obnoxious amount of time without sex (and even kissing and hand-holding), which is actually completely unfathomable to me, and probably not that interesting to anyone else. Although I really don't feel like I've ever strived to be very entertaining, I don't like at all sounding like a broken record. But here I go again:

I am happy

He trusts me

Everything is funny

Cheeseballs are sexy

Kisses can be orgasmic

Guys can be great

I don't have to settle

He cares about me

Everything is great

This is worth doing

And there you have it. I am going to suffer through all this aloneness and war and whatever, for the sole purpose of eventually seeing him again. The really amazing thing is that he hasn't left yet and we may have all this week together, but it won't matter as much until month five when I will have been wishing I could give my right arm just to be able to look at him for five minutes.

And will it have been worth it after all? Thank you, I don't know. That is the thing that truly sucks about the future. It really is uncertain...

10:06 p.m. - 2003-01-26
0 comments

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Left - Right