chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Too...

Today, for some reason, I was really depressed. I suddenly realized that I'm no longer living with any sense of purpose. I have been holding my breath and hoping for a miracle, because I really have no idea what I'm going to do with myself.

All day I tortured myself with memories of the people I love (or did at one time love) and the many ways they hurt me. I think I was hoping to see a pattern or find a logical explanation, but instead I just made myself miserable. I don't want to think about it anymore, so obviously I won't be typing this short list, but needless to say, it's depressing as hell.

I bought myself flowers and even felt shitty about that. Women shouldn't have to buy themselves flowers. Especially not reasonably attractive, intelligent, and decent women in their twenties. I am becoming pathetic.

I think it may be time to start my cat collection.

12:30 a.m. - 2002-11-08
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