chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Jizzy

Today my brother sent me an off-line message asking if the last time we were together I was "tweaking." Lovely. Also, he said I needed to respond via e-mail only, so whatever is going on with his girlfriend is really heating up I guess. I'm assuming he hasn't mentioned to her that he has a new e-mail address. I'm also assuming that he thinks i do drugs, and he wants to come back to live here, but not if I do drugs. So I sent him an e-mail that said basically if this has been bothering him, then why not ask me before now? (And so many odd behaviors make so much more sense now.) And since I don't do drugs, he should feel comfortable about whatever decisions he has to make. Although I don't really see how me doing drugs, if I were, would really impact his life anyway. I mean, what difference does it make? He's not a cop. But whatever. People are strange.

I'm thinking I'm getting a roommate. Cool. Well, I'm not actually totally looking forward to it right at this moment, but I wasn't in August either, and I adapted so much in one month that I was devastated when he left and begged him not to go. So I think it will take me about five seconds to get excited about this when I see him.

I was actually just starting to wonder how I was going to get through the "holiday season" by myself, anyway. I hate that everything I do lately starts with "this is the first time I've ever had to do this alone..." So, for once, I won't have to, because I won't be alone. Now if I could just get my other brother back up here, I, my life, my need for people around me that I love, my need to feel love, would be complete.

9:22 p.m. - 2002-10-16
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