chalice26's Diaryland Diary
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death and rebirth
Today I have begun the process of recovering from the death of the closest relative I've ever had that's died. Suicide. Horrifying.
She was, to me, a rival. She was the only girl besides me to ever, sort of, infiltrate my family. She was something of a free spirit and I felt threatened by that. I believed that I deserved the gifts that I've had in life and that she wanted everything, including everything that I had earned, handed to her--no charge. I still believe that, really, but now I feel that it would have been a small thing to have tried to be more generous toward her.
Today is a landmark of another sort also. I have been asked out, as on a date, and have accepted, so, at the age of 26, on Wednesday, I will be venturing out to my first date! Crazy. Anyway, his name is Don, and he makes me laugh and he wants to get to know me!Shocking! So I will definately hope for something positive to come of this and maybe all the time I invested in the wrong man is going to be given back to me in the form of a good man with no desire to fuck me over. Well, we'll see anyway, hu?
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