chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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What's gotten into me

I woke up thinking all sorts of weird thoughts about guys I had a crush on when I was 15. I don't know what started that off, but I think it might have something to do with the fact that I have been with only one person in about six years. I was never really convinced I would be all that good at monogamy, and I don't think I really am. Even though Luis is the coolest, greatest, most awesome person I have ever met--not to mention, still the best sex ever, I'm bored. Bored. Bored. I'm tired of all work and no play making me a fat, boring, dull girl. I want some excitement in my life. I mean, I realize that we are all overtired and overstressed, but I have spent years trying to make time for him and time for us and I don't see how he ever has. When has he ever done ANYTHING to try to get us alone together? I have never really liked sex that starts and ends in bed. It's boring. I want it to start somewhere, maybe end up in bed, etc. When you're already in bed it just seems blah to me--more like an accident or too convenient or something. The kind of sex that LEADS to the bed is more like what I like. Like I said, I'm bored. Luis is still super hot, beautiful, talented, etc. But I can't help that I like a little build-up (and I don't mean romance or foreplay). It's hard to explain.
But we'll have been married 5 years in June, and I know that the itch is supposed to start in seven years, but I think it's a miracle that I've gone this long. Really. I mean, I'm pretty naturally the right way, but I have never had to put it to the test this way, and I had really assumed that he would've cheated by now. I mean, I guess I'm kind of assuming he hasn't, right?
Anyway, hopefully I'll just forget about all of this like I usually do when I feel this way, but I must say, I am a little more unsure about that this time...

7:17 a.m. - 2008-11-19
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