chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Coming down

So I found out today that I get to remain permanently (crossing fingers) off of suicide watch. I have lost those 5 lbs. (again), and FINALLY started my period. That means that I was right. It's been my thyroid. I take the nighttime cortisol (sp?) pills every other night and I'm totally off of the (lame ass) anti-depressants. I'm so happy to be back in the real world where I get to pick whether or not I drink or eat or fuck my husband...it's really awesome. Those anti-depressants were awful. They didn't work at all!!! Although, they did work on getting rid of my migraines completely and also my insomnia. But I'd rather get drunk and have lots of sex...
I'm just so thankful to be back to me. I think the anti-depressants worked negatively on my anxiety and that caused most of my problems. I'm thinking about just seeing if I can get back on another anxiety med that I don't have to take full-time and then I will be all squared away.
I've also been able to go back on my diet now with no problems. Before it was like trying to be on my diet while I was pregnant...not good.
Friday we're all supposed to go blow some money at the casino. I can't wait. I really, really need some time for myself. I can't ever let this happen to me again. I am not going to go around being bald and fat for ANYBODY--not even her! I had to cut bangs to disguise the baldness I have on top and everyone that knows me knows that I only like one thing about me and that is my hair...so I can't lose it. Ugh...
This year has really been a challenge for me. I thought if you just got up and did what you were supposed to and didn't complain all the time your body would react in kind, but I was wrong. Apparently acting positive and being positive are two different things and your body can tell the difference...oops! Good to know. I will have to try harder to be happier. Okay, sure in my spare time I will just get right on top of that!!!

12:56 p.m. - 2008-04-01
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