chalice26's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sobriety....wierd.

Today is my seventh day without a drink. I still don't even want one. Last night I even dreamed about drinking and the whole time I was just nervous and worried about it. I can't trust myself anymore. My life is just too stressful. Anything can happen if I drink, because part of me does want to not have to do all this anymore. I can see it leading me to be bad if I let it. There's one sure way out of your current situation and that is to do something so wrong that you can't go back. I don't want to do that. I want to be brave and strong instead. So that's what I'm doing.
I'm almost ready for Christmas, but I'm so not ready to deal with my credit card bills next year! Ugh...Hopefully this year we get a decent return on our taxes. I want to be able to throw a bunch of money at it right at the beginning to get myself off to a good start.
I'm just looking forward to Mom coming up here. I spend too much time alone with my creepy thoughts and my sad lonliness. I need to work on that more. I've been trying, but it's hard. No one I know can relate to me and when I try to talk about everything I just keep getting all that look at the bright side crap. I know thinking positive is healthy. Sometimes I want to be sad, angry and scared. I am not perfect, but my life expects me to be. I have no room to breathe. It's hard. I'm whiney.
I am lucky and I know that. Other peoples' lives suck a lot more than mine. I know that.
It's ok.

1:14 p.m. - 2007-12-13
0 comments

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Left - Right