chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Work in progress

Yesterday was kind of a let down. I had to call the Doctor and then he said he didn't want to do most of the tests--that I should wait for the Neurologist to order them and they didn't have the right tube at the lab, so they couldn't do the mercury test.
Today I haven't had to answer any phone calls or make any, since it's Saturday, so that was a bonus. I made her some potatoes with veggies and meat. She ate it twice. Right now I'm making some more rice.
I cleaned her bathroom, washed dishes and clothes, made my bed (which I've been doing every day and I'm proud of!), cleaned out the fridge, threw out cig butts....what else? Probably a lot of things. I'm tired.
Luis took out the trash. Seems fair, I guess.
Yesterday they took their nap until 11p, so that pissed me off, but I'm trying to be positive, so I made a joke and laughed it off. I can't stand to feel constantly annoyed, so I'm not going to.
I got through my shift last night with half a Vicodin and I was very thankful for it. I have an appt. with my own Dr. to follow-up on my anti-depressants. I think I'm going to see if I can get something for anxiety. Maybe I could relax if I could relax.
I'm being pretty positive about everything again...just putting one foot in front of the other and all that, but I wish I could do it without a scowl on my face! I said, "Are you going to give her a bath, or should I?" And he said, "I should probably do it, it's probably my turn." Okay, so I thought I'd go read 'The Yiddish Policeman's Union' for about a half hour and then get ready for work. Well, after that half hour, I just gave her the bath myself even though I'd said, "Her clothes and her diaper are already in the bathroom..." He played his video game 'til like 5am and then again most of today. If he was my son, I could say something. Since he's my husband, I can't.
I want things to be different, but I can't make them different. The only thing I can do is try not to be a total bitch and just keep trucking along. It's getting harder.

2:37 p.m. - 2007-10-27
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