chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Uber Mama

We went to the see the Doctor today. I had this wierd anxious feeling that I was going to be sent away and told that I was overreacting or crazy or wrong. Everyone has just been so in denial about all of this and I couldn't help but second guess myself. But the Doctor agreed with me and gave me my referral and also gave me some options for the time being.
I read Jenny McCarthy's book today in a couple of hours and it was funny how many thoughts she's had that felt so familiar to me--like the hating "normal" kids. And the stuff about husbands. I feel like Luis looks at some of this from a distance or sees it as a project. It really has taken over my life and I feel responsible and obligated. I don't think he has any plans for the future or goals in mind. He does give me a lot of credit for having found it and realized it. I'm not sure how we would've otherwise, and I guess he agrees.
I don't know if we'll make it all the way through this, though. He got mad at me for not letting him feed her wheat and dairy. I said, "And why did I do that? Because I'm evil?" It's annoying to have to deal with a childish petty rebellion when I'm trying to do so many proper grown up things. I guess it'd be nice if he would do some things on his own or at least when I ask for something, be willing to help.
Anyway, right now my focus is on other things.

6:25 p.m. - 2007-10-22
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