chalice26's Diaryland Diary

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Tight pants, loose lips

I still haven't eaten. Eaten doesn't seem like it's a real word. If it's not, then oops. I did have to put my new jeans in the dryer to shrink them, because they were falling off...I won't even try to pretend that's not awesome!
I did drink something and take a half a vicodin and also hang out with Carly...all things I wasn't planning to do. Tonight was pretty ok, though. She really seemed to open up and seemed legitimately stuck. I hate the idea of having no options. I think I really felt that way most of the time with H--like no matter what I did things would stay the same. That isn't good. Unless it's already good and no matter what you do it'll stay that way, but I'm pretty sure that little fantasy does not exist in reality (unless you're a guy).
I really am starting to think that I might actually make it to a decent weight by the time I go on vacation. It's so sad that I have had to give up eating to get there, but in spite of feeling ill, I feel very proactive. I know I have whatever's wrong with me to thank for the fact that I don't want to eat, but it also feels a little like I'm choosing it and therefore in charge of my weight loss.
I have these brand new pants that are 11's that have hung on the hanger for I don't even want to know how many years, because I always swore I would get into them, but I never did. I never even took the tags off, but this time I swear I will wear those jeans on the plane! I swear.
I don't ever want to wait so long again for something so stupid. Life is very, very short and I can no longer afford any set backs.

1:33 a.m. - 2007-09-19
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